A Tenchi Moment
by Jade Sakura
Summary: A Tenchi-like Fic about Heero....and Duo.....and....Relena?!


A Tenchi Moment  
By Jade Sakura  
  
  
Duo's hand crept along the grass, heading in the direction of Heero's knee. He had noted  
that Wufei had fallen asleep a good 20 feet away under the tree by the lake. Heero didn't  
seem to notice much of anything, certainly not the apple tree above him, or Duo creeping  
up his leg.   
  
Duo's hand moved up Heero's side, and then around his shoulder. At this point Duo had  
gone far enough to win a questioning, wide-eyed look from Heero. The look caused Duo  
to stop and more closely examine this new development. Heero sunk back into his usual  
stupor.  
  
Duo's questioning hand found the nape of Heero's neck, and as he leaned closer, fingers  
entwined in Heero's hair, Heero leaned back and made a confused noise out of the back of  
his throat. "Huh?"   
  
Duo clasped Heero to his body, (very closely) and once again moved his lips to Heero's.  
As Heero began to respond, (he just couldn't ignore this development), Relena burst in,  
piping, "Heero, I finally-"   
  
As she took in the scene in front of her, she blushed and Duo's face turned toward her. It  
clearly stated two words: "Bad timing."   
  
Duo pulled away from Heero, and Relena stammered, "H-hey, w-what are yo-ou d-oing?"   
  
Duo rolled his eyes and responded, "Lady, what does it look like I'm doing?"   
  
Relena, slightly fazed, looked blankly at Duo and stated, "But you're a man!"   
  
Duo imitated Relena's look, and then replied blandly, "If you can flirt with him, I can flirt  
with him."   
  
Relena shook, and visibly tried to calm herself. Failing, she screeched, "You aren't flirting  
with him, you're trying to seduce him!" Taken aback by her own words, she covered her  
mouth.   
  
Wufei cocked his head and opened his eye. He thought to himself, "Of all the places in  
these woods, they had to play this scene out here."   
  
Duo said abruptly, "You are exactly right. I'm trying to seduce him."   
  
Relena, shocked at Duo's lack of offense, stood still. At least, she stood still until Duo  
once again moved in Heero's direction. He said in a cloying tone, "You don't really want  
to be with that bitch Relena, do you?" Relena became increasingly agitated, and clenched  
her fists at her side. Wufei opened the other eye.   
  
"This could be very entertaining," he thought sleepily.   
  
Relena took a step toward Duo and said in a menacing tone, "How DARE you!" Duo's  
reply was to lean closer.   
  
Wufei sat up.   
  
As Duo's mouth inched closer to Heero's by the second, Relena ran forward and yelled as  
if in mortal pain, "No! Heero wouldn't LIKE that!"   
  
Wufei stood.   
  
Wufei said, "I don't know about that. He doesn't appear to be reacting negatively."   
  
Duo gently poked Heero. "Nope," he said. "He doesn't appear to be reacting. Period."   
  
Heero said, "Wh-what? Please. Leave me alone."   
  
Wufei snickered.   
  
Relena asked sharply, "What's so funny?"   
  
Wufei waved a hand imperiously, and said, "You would not understand." Duo seconded  
the remark. Wufei, every inch the aristocrat, looked down at him, and stated, "And of  
course, you wouldn't, either." Relena looked as if she hadn't heard.   
  
"Of course. I understand. I understand perfectly. That he is chasing after my Heero is  
simply laughable. He can't be for any man much less Heero, what a woman could be. I can  
nurture him, care for him in public, and establish a family. Just because your sexuality is  
perverted, doesn't mean that you have to make Heero the same way."   
  
Wufei cocked an eyebrow.   
  
Duo looked thunderous. "Look, Lady. I've had enough." He made a cutting gesture with  
his hand, and slapped Relena across the face.   
  
Relena slowly moved her hand against the red mark. She narrowed her eyes. She said  
deviously, "Never strike a lady!" then yanked his braid. Duo screamed.   
  
Wufei said loudly, "Total pacifism, indeed."   
  
At this point in time, Heero, being the smart person he was, attempted escape. A most  
unfortunate experience for him; Duo noticed. Duo ran across the space separating the two  
of them, (far too much space for Duo to tolerate), and tackled Heero, knocking him down.  
"You don't want to run away," he said forcefully, kneeling next to Heero, backside to  
Relena. "Do you?" he added, in a sweeter tone.   
  
Wufei, mentally noting Heero's lack of struggle, said, (aloud), "Apparently not."   
  
Meanwhile, Relena was taking her time aiming a kick at Duo's rear end. The time she took  
was the time Duo took to ready himself to spring. When Relena moved her foot (a little to  
the right, in front of her, and angled down), Duo sprung on top of Heero, and Relena's  
foot impacted on Heero's side. Heero groaned.   
  
Turing to Duo, he expressed his feelings. "I'm not appreciating this, Duo."   
  
Duo, miffed, sat up on Heero, and said, angrily, "Well, fine." He stormed over to the lake,  
looking genuinely hurt. Relena tentatively followed.   
  
Wufei, on the sidelines, stated the obvious. "The path to true love is paved with morons."   
Duo turned around to see Relena walking toward him with her thoughts written on her  
face. (Poor little gay man, he'll never have my Heero.) Angered by her obvious pity, Duo  
motioned her with his head for her to join him for a heart to heart (feminine style.)   
  
Wufei, safe in the knowledge that nothing was as it seemed, raised an eyebrow.   
  
Three seconds later, Relena was bobbing in the lake, and Duo was looking all too pleased  
with himself.   
  
Wufei cracked up.   
  
Relena yelled indignantly, "That's not funny!" Wufei continued to laugh.  
  
Between laughs, he teased, "Heero cares so much for your well-being that he's decided to  
stay by you throughout this ordeal."   
  
Duo turned around just in time to see Heero disappearing. But his path was blocked by a  
very wet, very agitated Relena.   
  
"Heero," she said breathlessly, shoving him into the lake. She was intent on making her  
way to Wufei's side.   
  
At this point, the author loses track, and the spectator is no longer. He is now heavily  
involved in fighting off the attacks of two sufferers of unrequited love. Five minutes later,  
a battered Wufei crawls away victorious; he has now won the right to seduce Heero. A  
right he will never make use of.   
~~~~~#?#~~~~~  
  
A half-hour later, Heero leaves the water's embrace with a curious thought running  
through his mind: "Could Duo and Relena have been fighting over ME?"  
  
-FIN-  



End file.
